Stick That In Your Blouse Baby!

mister kaplan enjoyed his bingo lunch crispies and now stands on main street and tries to forget the fact that he keeps waking up punch drunk inside the new news with all the camera doctored cut-outs and death tolls and ticket sales and celebrity train wrecks and the big payoff keeping him plastered behind the drywall wanting and suffocating living through actors beating our heads with hammers trying to fit into a smaller size pantsuit and following a strategic plan which is devised for a profit margin and operated by pin-striped babboons and we'll work for them gladly by paying for the latest version of the fantasy machine and logging on and tuning in and volunteer into the electric vortex neck brace they have clamped on top of our mushy noggins to keep our heads down because we are just not quite smart enough or beautiful enough to match their scripts but thanks to all the keen products and mad-cow drill holes so we blend and drool seamlessly to the adverts in the busstops reminding us that Real Live v2.1 is now being featured on sale so we don't have to invent one of our own and we can copy it digitally and download it genetically to our wee-gap-kinder because they deserve the best and we are such well trained monkeys with drug jumped smiles poking from under the misery and we work and work and work and are free at last to surround ourselves with polymers and antennae with improved optical skank wires running into our brains which are being gloss-painted and steam-cleaned
30 screaming seconds at a time

When you look in a mirror what do you see?

Do you see a complex mixture of spirit, authentic emotions and unique perceptions? Or do you see an inferior creature who doesn't measure up, is uncertain and has questionable talents?

Walking down busy streets when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a store window reflection, what do you notice first?


Don't Be A Stinky Toothpick
every one is put on earth
condemned to die
time and method of execution

from the twilight zone
Check The Meter...It's Running
I Lost My Grenade
Oh Sure! Leap In Front Of The Train During My Lunch Hour
Boy The Way Glen Miller Played
Edmonton Alberta - I Died So Young

Do you see something you like?

Something you are proud of, something you ultimately were born with and will live with happily? Or do you scrutinise and pick-out negatives to torment your mind: I look like shit, Iím too fat, Iím too puny, I'm awkward and clumsy, my breasts sag, I'm losing my hair, Iím too short.

If this is the case do you ever wonder why you think this? Who planted that seed into your head? Isn't it time time to do some weeding...

the trip starts in a place
called birth and ends in
a lonely town called death
hear it
and now poor mister kaplan doesn't have the force to even look away from the flashing puking cartwheels pouring from the cables and everywhere he points his cataracts there is a branded buy-me tatoo and they won't stop until there's one for everything and everything is nothing but arms and legs and cocks and cunts and tits and hair and mouths and slippery wet skin holes and every one of these nerves is conditioned to trigger the need to consume and touch and lick and own and own and all he really wants is a grilled cheese sangy because there is this hunger from having urges dissected and examined and perverted and injected back inside and the buttons are toggling faster and faster faster and the air is so full of high frequencies that silence is scaring the shit out of me
Vaseline On My PupilsWax Pants On My ToungueSwizzled Biscuits In My NoseMascara Fog In My Ears

The average female fashion model is 23% thinner than the average woman. Gisele is a freak of nature folks!

The average model is 5í9Ē tall, weighs 110 pounds, and wears a size 8 dress but the average real woman is 5í4Ē tall, weighs 140 pounds, and wears a size 14 dress.

If store mannequins were real women they would have 10% body fat. To have a normal menstrual cycle, a woman typically needs at least 17-22% body fat.

The current fashion model body type is possible for only 10% of the population. Itís determined by genes. You canít diet to get this body type.

75% of women in the Western World are dissatisfied with their appearance. 50% are on a diet at any one time.

Young girls admit being more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents.

90% of junior and senior high school women diet regularly, even though only 10% are over average weight.

Got A Quarter?
Airbrush Alert! The Media's Obsession with Thinness and How it Affects the Average Woman by Hilary
"The media create this wonderful illusion-but the amount of airbrushing that goes into those beauty magazines, the hours of hair and makeup! It's impossible to live up to, because it's not real."

Jennifer Aniston for Vanity Fair, May 2001

This cool calculator lets you select a full day's worth of meals and find out what chemical poisons you ate. You simply enter what you and your loved ones eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner or a snack from among more than 150 foods and dishes. Or just pick a peach or an apple. You'll be amazed at how many pesticides you eat in the course of the day.